i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
