Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
