i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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