I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
