Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
