Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
