dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
