fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
