I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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