how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
