that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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