I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
one might say we're banned from that church
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
