I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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