question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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