I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
