I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
