That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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