Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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