I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
