why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
