Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
