His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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