I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
