Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
