Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
