yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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