I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
