i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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