I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
