when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
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There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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