should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
