why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
