Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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