Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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