Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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