Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
