Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
