her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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