the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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