Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
