This girl is more easily done than said...
I think I am morally bankrupt
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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