If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize