Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
