did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it glows. i had to have it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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