my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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