you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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