i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
