My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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