my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize