You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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