She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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