420 ftw
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
