Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
