I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
