so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
