If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
