no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
